It’s not often I’ll write about anything extremely personal on the blog, and even more unusual for me to write something negative, but this is an issue that has been bothering me for a long time now.
You see, we live in a progressive society, and yet the every day sexism I encounter seems to be getting worse, not better.
I was inspired by a video posted on Huffington Post Women, called 48 Things Women Hear in A Lifetime (That Men Just Don’t). I thought I’d add some of my own experiences to that list. So, here’s five of the most misogynistic things men have said to me personally over the last year-
“You’re really hot until you open your mouth.”
As far as sexist statements go, this one has got it all, hasn’t it? The idea that pretty women (or any women for that matter) should not express opinions or display intelligence is a viewpoint that firmly belongs in the early 1900s. It really saddens me that any women would feel obliged to ‘dumb herself down’ to appeal to men. You know what? As far as I’m concerned the brain is the biggest sexual organ.
“Hey, I just want to give you a hug! Stop being so stuck up!”
There is nothing “stuck up”or “prissy” about ignoring the unwanted advances from men in the street. There seems to be this unwritten rule that it’s ok to touch young women you don’t know, yet this doesn’t apply to anyone else. I promise you, women respond a lot better to being spoken to as human beings rather than creepy comments. Funny that.
“I’m not too hot on the fact we had sex on the first date.”
Let’s just take a moment to comprehend this one. Because it definitely takes two to tango. But in the heat of the moment I must have led him astray from his pledge of no sex ’til marriage. Oh wait… I feel this is very much a damned if I do/ damned if I don’t situation for women. Have sex with who you want, when you want ladies- as long as you’re not hurting anyone, don’t let anybody tell you what you are doing is “wrong”.
“You were too much of a slut for me to ever make you my girlfriend.”
Let me give you a bit of context for this one. The comment came from a man who had slept with over 100 women (when I was barely into double figures) after we had been exclusively dating and essentially living with each other for six months. This sexual hypocrisy women face is completely unacceptable. We’re expected to sleep with around 3 people in a lifetime, yet a man has sex with 300 and he’s a hero? It’s a no from me…
“Im not surprised, you look good.”
This comment was made by a security guard, after we told him we were being followed by a couple of men. Of all the comments, this one worries me the most. How are we supposed to deal with issues of sexism, if those in authority are actively promoting it themselves? I can only hope that if we’d been in any significant danger, the situation would’ve been taken more seriously.
We need to start calling out these misogynistic comments for what they are- hateful and harmful.
Isn’t it time we said “enough”, and started perceiving women as human beings?
Feature image: Antti T. Nissinen/ Flickr